Like my previous post about Hannah, I want to share what Deborah wrote on Facebook for Mother's Day. Not only does this record allow me to cherish it over and over, it also reminds me, yet again, to not stop praying even when all looks lost. Deborah appeared to be a borderline-lost cause for nearly 10 years. Might those prayers have been the very way God brought her back to us? What if we had stopped praying? I will never cease to praise God for bringing these three girls back to us and to himself.
I wrote briefly on my despairing feelings regarding mothering here on Mother's Day, 2012. To capture the difference between Deborah then and Deborah now, please read that post. My heart is full since reading this on Facebook:
Happy Mother's Day to my beautiful, courageous, kind, loving, giving, mother. I am so, so, so thankful for you and I could not wish for a better mum. I remember when I was young and you would rock me and sing Amazing Grace and Love Lifted Me, and when I had nightmares you would come lay with me until I fell back asleep, and when you redecorated my room while I was away at camp and it was absolutely perfect, and how you made my birthday cakes and they were always amazing even though you doubted your skills, and when I didn't have many friends to come to my birthday party you gave me things to look forward to like extra gifts so that I wasn't too sad, and how you would bring chicken from Mary Browns to CASA on Wednesdays when I couldn't leave, and you would buy me gift cards for groceries when I was really struggling, and sooo much more.
You have been so supportive even though I know sometimes it isn't easy, because I don't always make the right choices. I admire you for so many things such as your empathy and ability to continue growing and loving and giving to others. You did so many things right, and I know that you really give it your all even when it gets tough.
You amaze me and I am so proud of you for your accomplishments and how you have grown so much in your faith and in yourself in the past few years. There are many things about you that I look up to and aspire to be. You are one of the kindest people I know, and I know you try very hard to love everyone with all of your heart. You are an amazing person and an incredible mother. And your smile warms my heart. We are all so lucky to know you and to love you and to be loved by you, and I don't know where me and Buddy would be without you. I love you so much mom. More than you could ever know. And it's all easy enough to write in a Facebook post, but I really do mean it with all of my heart. I think we have come so far together in our relationship and I am grateful for that beyond measure.
Happy Mothers Day ❤❤❤ you are so beautiful and deserving of goodness.
During Rachael, Hannah, and Deborah's adolescent and teen years, I deleted my Facebook account because it was so very painful to read people's praises of their children. Every family looked like they had it together and mine was always in crisis. Seeing their happy faces and hearing their successes was like salt in an open wound. I'm very aware of how this post, and the one from Hannah, could hurt those who are still in that parenting valley. My heart feels your pain as I know it so very personally. Please read these two Mother's Day posts as coming from a humbled heart, not a gloating heart. I want to encourage moms, not pour salt in their wounds.
Keep praying! Never stop praying!!