It has been almost a year since Deborah and I went to Arkansas in hopes that the family would be able to move there. (It didn't work out but that's a different story.)
On our long drive down, we stopped in Iowa to visit my special niece, Mindi. I commented on her cute decor and style. She said Dustin called her style "kindergarten granny." Dustin has more traditional taste than Mindi. Whereas Mindi likes turquoise walls, Dustin wanted neutral tones. As Mindi looked at his paint choices, she said with finality, "Dustin, these are just different shades of dirt."
I had just recently finished a book on my dad's ancestry. I told Mindi a few of my favorite discoveries as well as a few less-than-brag-worthy anecdotes. I have always been proud of my Cherokee blood, but this time I shared some less than pride-inducing stories. I ended by telling her I enjoy researching family history and there are always new discoveries to be made. She countered my lofty sentiment with mock disapproval, "Whores and Indians! Keep digging, Valerie!"
My dad's ancestry has some close ties with Daniel Boone. His wife and I are related (although we've never been close or anything). A distant grandfather pioneered alongside Daniel Boone right up to the moment he was beheaded by Indians. When I told my dad our connections with Daniel Boone, he smiled with pride and said, "I always had a feeling I was kin to Daniel Boone."
Tickled by Daddy's amusing remark, I shared it with Mindi. Playfully she impersonated him by shivering and saying, "I feel him all over me; it's Daniel Boone."
Mindi shared a bit about a "friend" of hers. The "facts" here are terrifically jumbled but I think the idea is intact. Said Friend has no qualms asking for favors, big favors, and never reciprocating.
Mindi and Dustin had just moved into their house; just moved in, as in boxes were still in the living room. Mindi was smitten with food poisoning and heaving uncontrollably. Friend visited yet offered no assistance with the kids (who were being very rambunctious), unpacking, or a meal. Nothing. As Mindi's head was buried in the toilet, Friend explained how difficult life was with her wild teen. She wondered if Mindi would mind coming to stay at her house to "babysit" the teen while Friend and her latest boyfriend Bob went on a cruise.
Mindi pulled away from the porcelain and stumbled to the bedroom. Friend followed, "She'll probably not be a problem for you. And Bob and I really need to get away from it all." Exasperated, frustrated, angry and very sick, Mindi responded, "Hell no. No! Hell the f------ hell no." Friend got the idea.
That is the Mindi I love and who can keep me gasping for breath from laughing so hard.